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Below are the 6 most recent journal entries recorded in bobby's LiveJournal:

Tuesday, May 31st, 2005
3:13 pm
hows it goin everyone
im in a good mood now no longer irritated i have been a little aggravated for the past few days but now i have just found a reason not to be and i wont tell i promise i cant help but wonder though am i who i am i cant help but ask am i me in such a sarcastic manner i had a good dream last night it was a little disturbing but it wasnt a bad one atleast for the first time in a while i have had a good one i wonder what i am goin to do with myself today of course that is the question everyday for me it seems like i cant help it i really can but i just have to find out how
i will
i must
i promise
not yet have i broken a promise to myself
i will succeed
this is final i will
or will i i dont understand
do i have a prupose
do i live that of someone who lives and just dies and is slowly forgotten
i would not mind if this were true
curiousity kills me it has broken me i will do anything to subside curiousity
it can control me it has in the past
curiousity
drove me to love
love as it is what it is i cant help but wonder
was it curiousity or love i dont know anymore but it can hurt worse than anything
my love i think it may just be curiousity i think i would know though
or do i know and just not want to admit it
can i finally
no
i cant i refuse to
she says she loves me
and i nonhesitantly answer
with the same affection
am i playing with her emotions or is she playing with mine this is the end
of what i know but its is mine
mine to know
to know how i fucked it up
she was innocent and i turned her into a person
dreaded by many
the conversion
is it or is it not avoidable
i cant comprehend it anymore
but at the same time i am the one who created it
it is me and me alone
atleast after
after what the conversion
no the trasmutation
of mine and her being alike
i dontknow what im writing
these are my feeling and
they lead to the point of not destruction but
creation is that what you want to hear
i am not your pawn
but my own i control myself
but my emotions control me

Current Mood: calm
10:45 am
ok
everyone needs to make money and not matter how it makes no difference to anyone these days but me i wont work a fast food job i would rather much rather be a janitor i cant wait till next week theres a job coming up and i will try harder than humanly possible to do my best. i can finally say that i might not have to work a fast food job i know there are so many of my friends that do even some of those closest to me but i cant do it that for makes me lower than some of those in this world i mean if i had to i would but if it could at all be avoided it will be and thats that. well now i will continue to listen to music my sister to the ight of me somewhat i am in the local college again. so what has everyone been up to i wonder what is everyone in the world doing right now.

Current Mood: irritated
Thursday, May 26th, 2005
3:50 pm
hows everyone doing
hey hows everyone doin out there i am listening to jimmy eat world, while tryin not to think about certain aspects of my my life for more than five minutes you know how it is you get fixed on something in your mind and it is pretty hard to stop thinkin about. well i have been playing tetris for a long time now and i have gotten rather good at it i am still debating what to do with my life if i should become a mechanic or a carpenter or a plumber or just go out and dig holes for a living who knows i might i have always been pretty good at diggin hole sounds tempting dont it im gonna be sixteen soon. that should be cool i wonder what i will do for my birthday probably something fun i dont even want to think about cake right now you dont know how much cake i have eatin in the past couple of days. there are some things i have been meaning to say i hatemy uncle most of you dont know how much i hate him he has changed me for the better he said he did atleast sure im stronger i dont know if im smarter if so he didnt let me know it i hate his fuckin gut this is the last time i am going to ever talk about him atleast i hope so he took me in he fed me i found friends i even found a girl friend i had it all it seemed like it i had ways to make money i had ways to have fun. when everything seemed like it couldnt get any better he decided to take it all away im not saying he didnt have his reasons but they were not good reasons with any logic behind them. now i am here and thats all i can say i am here i have some friends and family i will get by thats all i know if i can i will set everything right here soon enough so for now i will say good day everybody
sincerely as my uncle put it
dumbass

Current Mood: amused
3:03 pm
it might not be my life
my life is that of which a rodent lives not know why they are bored to lazy
to do something about it and at the same time dying to do something about it i am unable to find motivation unable to understand why either why do i do this to myself living with out a point of understanding this is not depression this is not a cry for help this is why i am here this is why i refuse to do the one thing that would change my life the most the one thing that would probably solve alot of lifes problems for me i refuse i wont do it i have a heart even though not yet found i refuse to leave this one thing in the dust and let it go by the wayside without a thing done about it there has to be something i can do something i can say why i havent found it yet is completely my fault i have not a thing to do about my situation today matbe tommorow maybe within the next twenty years whichever comes sooner.

Current Mood: drained
Wednesday, May 25th, 2005
2:18 pm
im gettin bored
Hey
hows everyone doing
im ok as if anyone would ask in the first place
so hows life
gettin better
maybe
only one knows
who
you
no not you him
him who you kow who quit messin around
ok then have a nice day.

Current Mood: amused
Friday, May 20th, 2005
11:01 am
my life
hey
everyone
this
is how i feel right now #@$%^*^$%^#$$%
cant help it i needthigns to do i need a hobby i am gonna learn how to do something i am listening to remembering never right now
if anyone has any ideas for new hobbies for me to get into feel free to let me know

Current Mood: amused
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